I am excited for 2013. I have very mixed emotions about 2012. I had some pretty low lows last year. I think just a combo of pregnancy, a really rough newborn, lack of sleep, having no time or energy to work out, and oh yeah, a broken arm really got me down physically. I think I aged 10 years in one year from lack of rest. But the weird thing was, I never felt unhappy with life as a whole (except for the first couple weeks after Benson was born, but that was baby blues. Boy that was rough; but it passed, no biggie). I think I found more joy in motherhood than I ever had. Which seems ironic to me, considering it was a really hard year. My cupboards are so disorganized, homemade dinners weren't on the table very often, many days went by without a shower, the kids hardly played at the park, rooms didn't get cleaned as much as they should have, beds didn't get made. But I think I smiled more, and have sat on the floor with the kids more than I ever have and just let everything around me go. I prioritized; do the dishes need to be done or do I need to sit down while the kid dance around me?
Benson was our little surprise baby last year, but I think Heavenly Father knows what we need, better than ourselves. So he sent us Benson to slow us down and simplify. Benson sent us into survival mode, but in a good way; if that makes sense. I can't imagine life any differently; actually I can...but I wouldn't want it any other way. These 3 kiddos are our life!
I think at my lowest points last year, I would remind myself this won't last forever. Lets just power through, your time will come. This week I turn 30, and I couldn't be more excited. The dust of 2012 is starting to settle. I am starting to find a balance. I feel like I have given so much to my little kiddos last year and maybe this year I will sneak a little time in for me and get back to the working out. I have some major work that needs to be done. I have been pregnant practically for 2 years with a 5 month break in between. I have gained 100 pounds in 2 years and haven't lost 100 pounds. So there is work to do.
With the chaos of 2012, Ryan and I'd tag team most things. We'd pass each other in the halls as he'd be running interception with the 2 older kids and I with the baby and say to each other, ''hey, do I even know you?'' I hope that we can also sneak in a little time for us to go on more dates.
I think 2013 is going to be a good year. Life is good, I am excited for my 30's.
2 comments:
Just remember that the "little time for us" is what got you 3 kiddos. Lol. Glad everything is getting better. I have to say that I actually love Jakobi at this age. Although the "terrible two's" are right around the corner.
You are an amazing wife and mother. You are doing exactly what you need to be doing at this time in your life. We love you and are so proud of you all and your beautiful children. Can't wait to see you all again.
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